Well don't hold the door open, in or out!

Some days, people, are just the only thing I can think about, I just want to know people, have and make friends, love, and be loved, and learn everything about everyone. The lonliness is just so crushing, that I'd do anything just to make one more friend, or just to be a little closer to someone I know. I feel like I could compromise my standards, be someone I'm not, and lie about everything I hate, just to have someone care about me. Sometimes, I just want someone to care about, not even necessarily in a romantic way, but just care about in any way, because that's what people do, we care about each other.
Other days, people are the last thing I want to think about. They are the last thing I want to see, hear, be around, or even know of. Everyone pisses me off, and I become so convinced that everyone else I meet would piss me off just as much, if not immediately, then inevitablely. That people are inherently selfish, and they're always going to find some way to take without giving. Those days, if I were the last person on earth, that would be fine, I'd just chill in my dorm room, becoming godly at my guitar and beating all the computer games I've never finished. And no one would be left to enjoy my guitar, but they would find something wrong with it anyways. And I'd live out my days there, telling myself that people brought me nothing but trouble anyways.
And how do I feel right now? Which one fits me tonight? Neither. I don't really feel anything either way right now, I tired of going back and forth. I just want to make up my mind about people, or have it made up for me, I don't care, I just hate the roller-coaster ride
I'm not a sociopath, or anti-social, or even unfriendly. I'm usually pretty cheerful at face value. I guess I'm just gullible. I get screwed alot, manipulated, pushed around, and I'm sick of it. I can't leave my room and see just people I like, and some days, it really isn't worth taking the good with the bad. Days with yelling fights and mean spirited jokes at my expense aren't offset by a friendly smile and "Hello." Days like that make me wish that there was a lock on my door that locked it shut from both sides, forever.